Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im holly from the hills drunk
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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