and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
