So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
