When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
