May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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