It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
