why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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