Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
