sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
vagina is talking i cant
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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