how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize