Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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