This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
