By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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