Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize