i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
