party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
