Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
