We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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