He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
