I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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