playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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