I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
