she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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