she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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