he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
PANTIES FOUND
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