so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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