I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I wish I could teleport
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
