One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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