I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize