No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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