Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
