Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My liver just broke up with me...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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