Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
