What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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