I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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