I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
