I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
