he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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