he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
