that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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