hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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