Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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