How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
