In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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