Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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