It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
