We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
