I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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