did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
