Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Someone shit on the floor
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize