i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I had to cum in my sink.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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