Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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