Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
