just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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