Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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