I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
