I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
