I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
