so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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