I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I supernannyed him into submission
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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