You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
