What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
