My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
