well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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